I'm content tonight though. I haven't made any resolutions. As I said to one blogger's question about New Year's resolutions, I make resolutions, but I think I have short term memory loss. Or is that long term?
In any case, I seem to forget what they are. .
Sister invited me to join her and Brother-in-Law and her friend Laura for a rib roast, roasted potatoes, a tasty and interesting spinach dish, and double-chocolate mousse. They're not night owls like I am, so we watched Kathy Griffin embarrass Anderson Cooper at 9, and think we might have seen midnight in Nashville at 10, although the cacophony and technical difficulties made it unclear. It was a quiet celebration for us and I went home then to let them get into their jammies.
New Year's Eve was my husband's and my favorite holiday. All the other holidays involve family obligations. When people marry, the tug-of-war begins. Who gets the new couple for Thanksgiving? Christmas Eve? Christmas?
When it's a second marriage and he is divorced and there are children and an ex, and then there's me and I'm a widow and there are children and grandparents and both of our siblings . . . well, you see where I'm going with this.
Our last New Year's together was the millennium -- 2000. He was dying then, although I don't think either of us had acknowledged it, bedridden, unable to eat properly, still mentally in touch at that point. That year's New Year's celebrations were televised from around the world and I joined him in bed and we watched the telecasts for the whole 24-hours. It was a glorious celebration and the world made it through all of the dire predictions that technology would bring the world-as-we-knew-it crashing down, unable to cope with Y2K. He died on January 11, three days before his 64th birthday.
I cherish the memories of that day-long cycle and all the other good New Years together. I'm wistful, I'm nostalgic, but time passes, life changes, and I have no wish to recreate the past.
I got thinking about this topic tonight after reading another blogger's post. I've only read a few of her posts, but she's in an unhappy place in life, financially strapped, a mother of young children and I'm not clear about her relationship status. She sounds down tonight, and irritated by "chin up" advice from her readers. I don't know enough of her story even to offer advice, nor whether "granny" advice would be welcome. What could I say? what should I say? keeps running through my mind. I can't say I know how you feel, because I don't know that I know that. But I think I can say, I'm listening to you, I'm hearing you.
I wouldn't insult her with "chin up" advice, even if I have to believe that "things will get better." Can I say, "Hold on. Hold on for dear life, because that's what's at stake for you and your children. Even if it's hard to visualize how it can get better, concentrate now on not making it worse, while you work out what positive steps you can take, one by one, for all of your futures"?
. . . Something like that I'd want to say.
See you soon.